What to do when a relative goes into hospital
Concern
Having a loved one admitted to hospital is always a concerning time. The restrictions to visiting can increase our fears and anxieties. If possible, before your loved one is admitted, discuss with them (and your family) how they want to keep in touch – for example texts, group WhatsApps, telephone calls, video calls etc.
One contact person
Agree who will be the person that will speak to the hospital staff and how they will share updates. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you were visiting, you should do this – and report back to the contact person. The staff will be keen to help you.
Write a diary
During their hospital stay, it is helpful for you to write a diary of what has happened. This could include what the hospital has shared about their illness, but also what has been happening at home with friends and family. It is often really comforting to share this with your loved one, when they return home.
Phone calls
When you are able to call them, make the most of this time. Try and plan in something pleasurable for you both. For example listen to some music, look at photographs, share the news from a newspaper. If it feels overwhelming to talk, then reading out thoughts that you have already written down, may feel more manageable. Remember they might be tired so try to keep the calls brief.
Visiting: some do’s and don’ts
7 Do’s
1. Check the visiting hours before you go
2. Find them
3. Wash your hands
4. Do bring gifts but keep them small. They have to be taken home. And consider restrictions on them (e.g flowers and food)
5. Turn off your mobile phone
6. Keep visits short, preferably under an hour. Patients can get tired very quickly
7. Ask to speak to a doctor or nurse to get an update. But if they arrive and they need to do something, offer to leave.
7 Don’ts
1. Visit if you may have an infection
2. Expect the patient to entertain you. They are there to heal, not to talk or keep you occupied. When people are ill, they need to concentrate. They may be grumpy. So it is OK to hold hands and sit in silence
3. Stay too long
4. Bring young children
5. Cause your loved one any stress
6. Smoke during the visit
7. Take photographs or videos. Other patients may not want to be in the picture.
Be kind to yourself
It is also important to ensure that you are kind to yourself. Try to keep up with those things that may help you improve your emotional wellbeing.
PALS
If you have any issue or concern – e.g. you think a mistake has been made, or you are finding it hard to talk to their senior doctor – Patient Advice and Liaison Services (PALS) are there to help you. They available at every hospital, and are usually based in the main entrance.
Summary
We have explained what to do when a relative goes into hospital. We hope it has helped you.
Other resource
MyHSN has a related article.
What happens I am admitted to hospital?
How to find your relative in hospital
